Thursday, July 26, 2012

Yesterday was one of those days..and today is too!

It was one of those days I seriously felt like I should be wearing special robes, seated over a pit of noxious gases predicting the fate of the Classical Universe.
In astro terms Saturn sextile Mercury so it made for an interesting punch through the Mercury Retrograde blahs...everywhere I turn insight was in my face and it made for some very interesting paranormal action around the homestead.

I am taking an online course and one of our teachers had to step out for a moment and we got to chatting about the synchronistic (is that even a word? Well it is today!) events, that keep happening around us. In a group of talented sensitive folks what is really great is for folks like myself that spend a lot of time helping others with Spiritual challenges is that when I have them myself, I am at a loss for words! Putting it out there, whether in a funny posts on facebook, a but tamer because I do consider the audience, then I would write here, I received a bevy of really helpful replies concerning whether I had considered this or that. I find it is really helpful because my varied reader base can chime in and point out things I hadn't considered.

I couldn't help but to give out "readings" all yesterday, hence feeling like the oracle of Delphi. Even my horoscope alerted me to that it would be a day of intense spiritual insight and my head would be in the clouds. They weren't kidding! I take a lot of horoscopes with a grain of salt, just because we are made of so much more then just our sun sign and there is a lot more to go into that (rising and moon sign for example) that can have more of an effect on our day. It also said to "write things down"  as I am attempting now. I know I will sound a little nutty, but we all have our days!

My eyes feel a little more strained and yes I will see an eye doctor , I am due..but strained in a way , that funny way you do when you look at those pixilated pictures and a 3-D image pops out. My ears are ringing, I'm a little light headed and the Universe is throwing these things out left and right. If my grammar and usage and spelling is wack, I plead this. Forgive me, this will pass.

Last night I was answering a message from a friend who was feeling the need to send some encouragement my way and bless him for that. He too is familiar with the fish out of water of moving to , back too and away from all you know and he is making headway on some new music. That invigorated me as I was just think this is the longest performing break I have ever had in my life and that includes being pregnant and birthing a baby! It is needed, however, I have had a serious backlog of ideas of creative things to get out, paintings to finish, jewelry made for sale that needs to be listed, the aforementioned online courses. You will be better then ever, he told me and I thought, what an awesome vote of encouragement. If he can do it in his new town, I am sure I can do something in the Bluegrass state!

 In spite of all the fuzzy kismet going on there was something else a brewing..I was at the time looking away from the computer when my facebook page decides on its own to go to my "Ancestors" photo album and got to my Aunt Pat's picture and opened up into viewer. There she was at our old kitchen table with a big smile on her face. My Aunt Pat is the topic of one of my first blogs on her as she is the one who first contacted me after her passing. She is the the first person I had the idea of painting her portrait with her ashes, the inspiration for looking into the unseen world. 
http://angelxstacy.blogspot.com/2012/05/first-contact.html
I hit "print" and printed out the picture. All this time I kept wondering what would be the right picture and I felt like I hadn't found it yet. It was there all along. "Git on withet Lassie!" I could imagine her saying in her Scottish brogue.

Thankfully this was par for my course today, I had a bit of a forewarning when my Teacher said that in Native American culture Dragonflys can be the dead and warn you of danger. It seems in this last week everywhere I went, I was bumping into large Dragonflys. Another student was having similar experiences that  when I felt the fog roll over and I got out my books and started looking up info on Dragonfly medicine and what it can teach us "get near some water, a river" and other lessons. Her partner just like my husband had been talking about spending some time in the outdoors. There are so many amazing rivers and lakes here..."hello!! Ohio river!" Yes, we need to get out in nature, that will help us feel more connected! There is always something to be said for fresh air too.

I have been upping the discipline these days concerning spiritual practice.After the spookiness of recent events of my house (the last few blogs!) it has really reminded me of the responsibilities of taking the utmost care of our Ancestors and Guardians. Food offerings, water and incense have all been freshened with more regularity and dressed candles , more frequent "sage-ing" and boy can I tell you my house smells nice? Wow it feels much better around here!

My hubby got up early for work today and was getting his coffee ready when he heard the door down the hall squeak. He looked down and saw the art room/ Spiritual room was open and figured I was in there getting something before the baby woke up. This is the baby off limits room where we keep our music,books and breakables, as well as my Ancestor & Orisha Altars etc.
 He then jumped into the shower, when he got out the door was closed and got a sense of Deja Vu, and then stopped by the bedroom to kiss us good bye before he left. Later I received a text asking if I had been up and went into the room in the morning, I wrote him back "no, I hadn't" and didn't get up till after he left. I had noticed that Calliope this morning woke up giggling as if someone was tickling her. She has been spending the last couple days looking up towards no one in particular , well that we can see,and laughing, playing a bit of chase.

How interesting , I thought! There is another unexplained thing, Well considering where we live , this is hardly  unusual for this neighbourhood!

I got my "answer" when this very morning on the couch I heard "She looks just like you when you were little" and without thinking I said aloud " I know , right?" and then realized I was talking out loud to my Aunt Pat.

Now its time to get off the box and into the paintbrushes, I have Ancestors and Angels to paint and Doll Baby Guardian Juju's to finish!




Monday, July 16, 2012

What's your spooky kid talent ?

Perhaps I watched too many spooky movies before bed? Or was it that it the reading I did before bed, the last thing I remember is responding to a post on a page where the poster asked :

"So question, does any one else have Inherited spiritual Gifts that Surprised you as a Young Child did it Scare you or did it not?" (thanks Chris R. for the inspiration!)


I posted about my connection with Death and how as I child I started to get this feelings in my tummy and in my gut about when someone was going to leave this mortal plane. 

It started in 1982 or 1983 when I went to the hospital as my Mother's mother was ailing. My Grandfather had taken care of her until he died (she had a stroke) and she was put into a care home. We stayed overnight with her and I couldn't sleep. I walked the halls where I heard the voices of the lonely calling me in the middle of the night, "Little girl, come here , little girl" and understandably I was quite scared. It was really late at night when my Mum gave me a little herbal remedy pill to help me sleep. The next day was a cloudy day, we sat with Grandma as we waited for our other Aunts and Uncles to get there. I really loved how our family was big and how we would come together to support each other. 
We had a family joke "We have to stop meeting like this and have real family reunions instead of meeting up at funerals!" As a way to lighten the burden of grief we shared.

I went to my Grandma and watched her labouriously breath in and out. I felt something was happening so I went to cuddle her, hold her hands, wrap my little arms around her just as she used to do with me.

As long as I knew my Grandma Ray , she was dealing with the after effects of a stroke she suffered. As a little one I had no idea and thought that Grandma's just had a special language all their own and all needed a little help getting into wheel chairs and getting dressed. She talked and talked to me and though I couldn't understand the world I could get her meaning. She missed me, she wanted to hold me and how! She was so strong for someone weighed around 85-90 lbs. She could pull me into her lap and squeeze me till I couldn't breathe and that was ok cause I missed her too.When we would sit outside I was wander her acre with her namesake goat Alice. Such a sweet and lovely goat. Perhaps that is why,even though I have cleaned , prepared and helped cook many a goat in the past , I could never quite eat them. I just want to take them all home and love them. 

As I was with my Grandma and holding her in the rest home, my family milling about behind me, my Grandma took her last breath. Then it seemed she got lighter somehow. I got up and turned around and went to my Mother.

"Mommy, your Mom, Grandma is dead" and then the crying began. I often wished I wasn't the bearer of that news and from then on I would find a much nicer way , then bluntly, to deliver that news. I guess that is hard to a 9 year old to vocalize sensitively when in shock.

Not much later my Auntie Marion and Uncle Ned arrived. Aunt Marion knew, she said as they were driving trying not to speed, they saw the sky open up and a ray of sunlight cut through the cloudy day and touch the ground . She knew then that her Mother had passed. Her story stuck with me because since then I have had that same experience when they my other Grandma and my dear friends  and Brothers have all passed.


I had one Uncle , Uncle Charles who I could swear could shake his first at Death and say "Ah no, not yet!" I'd gotten the feeling a couple times to rush home and ask my Mum about him and hear he was in the hospital. I have such great memories of my Uncle , he was a Navy Man , both he and my Auntie worked in San Francisco for the Police Dept. He was so strong and could knock the wind out of me picking me up and swinging me around. Must have run in that side of the family , like my Grandma, his Mum!  Even though he had some health issues it never seemed to slow him down, that I could tell. He seemed to do everything with a zest for life and the only time I'd see him get very serious is when I would bug him with my questions about the Masons. I knew he was high up there and I was so fascinated that my Uncle was apart of a "Secret Society" I have been collecting Masonic and Eastern Star stuff , mostly gifts from friends : "This looks spooky and weird, give it to Angelique" and I hoped in vain he would share the secrets. There were a couple time he would go into the hospital and wake up and pull his tubes out and walk out. I was happy that someone could do that for as long as he did.


For his 80th birthday I painted him a portrait of him just becoming an adult in his Navy Uniform and presented it to him at his surprise party. I was excited to paint a painting that the subject would get to see while they were with us, instead of my usual Memento Mori portraits. It is one of the few that actually don't have a halo, not that he didn't deserve it , but that he was not a Guardian Angel yet. I took the day at work at the tattoo shop to paint it , I like to think I impressed my co workers.Portraits are kinda considered very difficult in the tattoo world, but they can be a wee bit easier if you train your brain right. Kinda the same way I tattoo the front of my legs and feet, upside down. For the interested I suggest the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards. It is the most useful book I have ever read in regards to my work as a professional Artist.


Later months down the road, I got the call that he had passed. I still feel bad to this day I had to call my Mum at work with the news. I sure wish I'd handled it more sensitively. Perhaps waited till she got home or went to pick her up somehow, rather then telling her on the phone at work. I should have known better.  Knowing our history , sometimes people can fear what comes out of my mouth, especially when you have a history of  blurting out what people are thinking without even knowing it. Or the time I described how her Eldest Brother was really sick with Cancer and had taken his own life when he had gone terminal and described how it happened with no one telling me. 


As a Kid it is hard to separate what you hear out loud to what you hear when people are thinking. I hope my Mum can forgive my forwardness. Sometimes I can feel it on the phone, she won't keep me on the line long, I think she knows I can hear her thoughts sometimes, I finish her sentences. But as a kid I remember she never finished them out loud. I didn't really realize that till my sisters pointed it out and I heard them being finished in my head. I knew just what to get for her. When I was pregnant , and now as a Mum, you get even more sensitive. I would go into the drug store to grab some things while my Mum would wait in the car so she could smoke a cigarillo without setting off my gag reflex. I would come out with some nail polish for her saying "that's what you wanted , right? I thought you would like some red nail polish, we can paint your nails" and she would say, "I was thinking about that! I thought about asking you, but you already went in, your doing that thing again, I swear you are psychic!" I would tell her, "Naw Mum, you just think really loud!, haha". 


I think I get my bluntness from my Dad and empathy from my Mum. She still is afraid of me ,but I learned and am much more careful about what I say.


So..my answer to the post was a much shorter version, think the Tweet version.


I thought I caught a break when my friend Christopher Starkweather died:
http://angelxstacy.blogspot.com/2012/04/scariest-ghost-experience.html

He was young , not someone you would expect to go like an elderly family member.

After that , I hadn't felt anything in a while. It must have been saving up? I was actually hoping it was just a kid thing..

In Mid Oct. of 2001 I was driving across the San Francisco Bay Bridge on the way to the city. It was an overcast day and no sun in sight, all of the sudden the sun broke through and a hard shaft of light hit the water and then that feeling hit my gut with a vengeance. "Oh no , I thought, this is gonna hurt" , I knew that who ever it was it was going to be a doozy and I had an idea whom but I just didn't want to face the fact that I would lose my closest friend in the whole world, Heather Oswald, two weeks later. Or maybe in hindsight it was a few dear friends all at once, but mercy didn't let me know what happened all at once.

I recently shared this story with her sister, who also had a similar premonition and begged her sister to not go to Oakland just before her fatal accident there. Another conclusion her sis and I surmised , is that Heather also knew and often remarked about it.

It was a really tough year 2001, the night before Heather died, my friend from Modesto, Marian Anderson,lead singer for The Insaints, my punk rock older sis full of knowledge passed on.Right after that we lost our advocate for music , room mate and former booker for the Berkeley Square AJ Cardinal and other room mate and Poet/writer/Musician John Sinistere.

I am not sure if I was standing in the wrong line when the Universe handed out its gifts to people but I got a hard one to deal with. Perhaps I got distracted from the knowing the winning lottery numbers line?
What it has fostered in me in a sense of importance of loving people when they are around and appreciating how precious and short our time is here. Also I can be a resource to others who are going through grieving as well. In any case friends are precious to me and it is hard to let go.

Part 2 : My own "Psychic Emergency"

Part 2

I broke this into two parts as it is a current happening and things are still unfolding. As I was writing the first part, I seemed to get a little light headed then normal and have to go over and re read my writing and make sure it was all there. Not a bad idea anyway, I can't expect to get all my typos or grammatical errors and I hope, Dear Readers, you will forgive me on that one. What can I say...I left college to pursue a professional singing career and writing song lyrics does not entail the laws of grammar, or spelling.

But I digress and the Grammar Police hasn't fined me yet, so let's move on shall we? If this story wasn't weird enough, or able to be passed off as hysteria or , hallucinations or anything else I could think of to explain away the unknown to make it more palatable for that rational side of my brain. What my friend's experienced kinda through that out the window.

I woke up after the night of seeing the image of Red Tara turning beneath my closed eyes, hearing her Mantra being spoken and  feeling better. I consulted my best friend Tsering and let her know what I saw and when. Since it was something I don't normal see when I close my eyes, I made mental notes of it as it was unusual for me. Other then my friend's involvement, I do not have my own experiences with Buddhism, and I certainly appreciate all their help as they have much experience with dealing with the unseen world. 6000+ years experience!

She remarked to me that it was really good I saw the Mantra and that seeing it turning was a very good sign, she remarked that it was something that folks strive for when doing these practices and that it was really good that I saw that. I have to admit that made me feel very special I was able tap in and experience something that I knew so little about, it had given me comfort and I knew it was working. The brownish -black mass I had seen had recoiled into the upper corner of my room when it was happening and I knew it was working and my child slept through the night.

It turned out a good thing I made note of the time, at the time I heard and saw the practice, our other co-admin Alastair was doing the Red Tara protection on our behalf. The fact , I saw it and heard him was remarkable. Alastair and I have a very similar life experience, at least in our youth. We both had things happen in our upbringing that were hard and most notably a seizure disorder that went into remission when we had children. I feel like we are related somehow. In their practice they can find out such things, where a soul has been reborn and how folks have been related in previous lifetimes. I have a great respect, appreciation and am in awe of their practices. Especially now that I have experienced some of it first hand!

I communicated to Alastair via message that I had felt the practice and what transpired and how our house felt. They were in agreement with Tsering's idea that this was some sort of Scottish type elemental and that it was very attracted to my daughter. What had I been doing in the past weeks where attention was drawn to her , had we visited anywhere had strangers remark on her appearance?

As a matter of fact we had. We had our first weekend outing to the Ren Faire in Eminence , Ky. Many folks had remarked about "our beautiful little Royal " in her stroller. Could we have gotten the attention of something else beside the faire workers that decided to follow us home? This was reported to be the first year that their was a enclave of Fairy folk there as well. In Scottish and Welsh lore I have heard it is "back luck" to remark on the beauty of a child.

  In many cultures there are beliefs and superstitions that one should protect their baby from too much praise. This can get the attention of certain beings who , as many folks may have read in fairy tales of changeling children and the creatures that like to swap out said beautiful children for one of their own. It ranges anywhere from Lilith , the basis for Lullaby song, which was" Lilith go away" at one time, to Boogeymen, elves and Fairys.

 Adam's 1st wife Lilith was purported to be accused of stealing babies. In some interpretations of ancient Hebrew texts that expand on the stories of Genesis (The Zohar ) God had worked for some time creating a wife for Adam. God put him to sleep and split his feminine nature into wife Lilith , his equal. Head strong and preferring the superior position during sex, she was outcast, but not without learning God's sacred name and getting some wings in the bargain. She flew out to the Red Sea and bearing many of her own children from visitations from Adam (basis for the Succubi stories) or in some stories Samael (basis for Satan) and alienating him from his 3rd and well known wife Eve, who had some run-in herself with Samael bearing Cain. It is said Lilith is pretty sore for just being a smart woman and is the inspiration for strong woman everywhere.

For many years and well into the middle ages amulets were made bearing the names of 3 Angels that could scare Lilith off and protect children.
For more information on Lilith's story visit :
http://www.themystica.org/mystica/articles/l/lilith.html

In Scottish /Welsh culture there are different child stealer beings , like the Water Kelpie , I talked about in a previous blog:
http://angelxstacy.blogspot.com/2012/05/first-contact.html

and my current suspect , who I called "Mr. Grunty" seems to come from Scottish and or Welsh Lore. That have many descriptions that fit down to the brown cloak. In researching the different names of such beings, I would find a website only to not be able to find it again after putting in the same information in Google.
Who knew they could be elusive , even on the internet!

In any case I did find a catch all on the subject on the the ever popular Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Changeling

Apparently every culture has a changeling story and unfortunately they all don't end well. Some have used it as a defense for hurting others or as an explanation for deformities. Perhaps back in the day it was a popular explanation for Colic or the "Terrible Two's"?
  • After I posted "Part 1" to our Psychic Emergency page, Alasdair who did the practice for us sent this in response. In his own words he describes that our unwelcome guest made itself at home all the way in Oregon. (For those that may not know, I live in Kentucky!) 



    "Cool Angelique! This is Alasdair and it has been a strange couple of weeks. I think it was really interesting that you could pick up on the mantra visualization from the Red Tara practice I did for your family. There is a whole section of t...he practice during which the mantra revolves and emits light. The entity in your house was very strong and it is was easy to see why your family was so frightened. The day after I focused energy on your house and did this practice and suggested you leave out plastic king cake babies as an appeasement offering, I noticed money missing from a closed box in my home. Next to the box were two of the plastic king cake babies that I was planning on sending you along and other objects near the box had been pushed over and messed up. The king cake babies were previously in a silver dish on a shelf with some ghost money on top. None of the remaining babies or the ghost money had moved at all. I took this as evidence that we had got the spirit's attention (and now it had mine :) ). Another incident might be attributable to neighborhood children or squirrels involved an offering I left outside for the spirit on your behalf until I sent you the plastic babies. I put a plastic baby, a piece of candy, and a coin in a dish and left it on my porch railing. It disappeared, but I later found it on the bottom right corner of the lowest stair leading up to my apartment. Everything was still in the dish (although the candy had melted the coin and baby to the metal dish). I hope things are better now."


    I received the aforementioned king cake babies in the mail. For those not familiar with what a King Cake baby is , it is a tiny plastic baby that is baked into a bundt style cake made for different cultural celebrations. A cake is made and a party is given, the person who receives the slice with the baby in it is required to host a party the following year. 


    I then made a batch of Sour Cream Muffins and before putting the muffin pan in the oven I inserted one of the babies into the biggest muffin. After they cooled my little family got ready for a walk around our neighbourhood to a certain tree that I knew would be a perfect spot for the offering.


    This tree is on the other side of Central Park from my house on 6th & Park in Old Louisville, it is actually just a few steps from "The Witch's Tree" whose story was told in David Domine's books on the ghosts of Old Louisville.  I talk about his books , my house and some of the previous happenings here:http://angelxstacy.blogspot.com/2012/05/recent-events.html

    This photo was taken in the early spring, now it is almost completely covered in vegetation and an orb weaving spider has made her home right in the centre of the fairy door. Even in the day it looked spooky. My hubby had carried the muffin over and as he held it in his hand I took a look around to make sure no one could hear me. I called out to the being and plainly said:

    "Mr Grunty or whomever you are, we wish to make you an offering of this special cake with a baby in it, should you wish to continue to receive offerings , you are to stay away from our home and our daughter. Thank you"

    Then my husband tossed the muffin baby cake into the hole and we continued our walk.

    So far so good, and we make sure to spiritually cleanse our house more often, which is just a little sweeter smelling then a regular house cleaning but a bit more thorough. Burning sage every couple days, Florida Water and Patchouli for protections and floor washes for a start. 


    Another friend and faculty member from my online school "Crossroad University", Madrina Angelique also sent me a recipe for child safe protective spiritual baths with lavender. With the help of my online community we were able to get Spiritual help for our night terrors.


    Some links for further study , goods and readings:


    http://www.crossroadsuniversity.com/

    http://www.rootmamaconjure.com/

    and our Psychic Emergency page:

    https://www.facebook.com/PsychicEmergency



Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Part 1 :My own "Psychic Emergency"

My best friends and I co-Admin a help page for the layperson seeking help to Spiritual problems called "Psychic Emergency".
https://www.facebook.com/PsychicEmergency

On this page we post tips and articles on how folks can navigate and protect themselves in this world from the largely unseen world. My co -admin are from the Dharma tradition, (aka Buddhism), a Monk and a former Nun and I myself that is an initiate in the Afro Caribbean traditions of the Lucumi,  all of which have a large background in dealing with the unseen world. It is kinda like a 101 page for folks who may be experiencing scary things they don't know how to deal with. Hence the name. Although each of us have different skills such as mediumship, ability to read objects or things like Tarot cards, we don't give readings here.There are plenty of people who do that and do it well.  In short we help people who may have issues with Spirits,Ghost, Elementals, Demons, what have you that plague people. The articles we write are introductions to some of these abilities and how folks can protect themselves from such things.These services  are free of charge.

Before I joined the team, my mates have helped clear haunted houses, help people with attacks and various other things. I joined and it seemed our combined efforts really seemed to increase our sight. What is really neat is how our practices compliment each other and how similar they are in dealing with things of the seeming paranormal nature. In Buddhism , as in Ocha Lucumi aka "Santeria" ,dealing with Spirits and the like is a part of the norm.

Little did I know that we would need to pool our resources to help someone close to home and that person was my family.

I had hoped that my daughter, especially being a Capricorn, would be like other Capricorn's I have met (not knowing everyone, this is a generality, I know) but would be not given to flights of fancy or even be psychic. To some degree it is said that most children do have abilities, they are not filtered like we become as adults. One of my sisters is a Capricorn and I have envied that she is has a life that is not plagued by worries of things that go bump in the night. She is a regular, funny, focused person. A person who didn't grow up seeing visions of how family members died in acute detail or see Elementals invading their room or crib. She is a great Mum and works at a school. Classic in dress she makes khaki look good with an easy effortless style. In short , she is what I call "normal", the opposite of eccentric, "wild" and flashy me. When the chips are down and in some of my darkest and happiest moments she was there for me. From unknowingly helping me get myself together and take care of my injuries after a rape, (I didn't share all those details with her, just that I was bleeding) to being my Maid of Honour at my wedding, I was excited that my Daughter would be born around her Birthday and maybe be like her.

I do appreciate my life, and feel very blessed to have experienced the things I have , even though some were very painful. I hope that it will help others know they are not alone, or not do the things I did, or at least be a cautionary tale. I am lucky to be alive. It is hard to be sensitive and I admit that I wanted the easy life for my Daughter. But this last week was a wake up call that she too can see things others can not.

I am a advocate for attachment parenting, for reasons as simple as poverty and having a small dwelling. In our new home, much larger then our last due to rent in Kentucky being cheaper then the San Francisco Bay Area, our young one has her own room, but still sleeps with us at night. It made things like night feedings a lot easier and I was able to get a little more rest. I feel so lucky to have her in my life, it is swell to be able to cuddle my little one while we sleep.

Occasionally , as many parents experience , Infants and Toddlers seem to go on nap strikes. Luckily this isn't the norm for my little one, we have a little ritual of being able to turn on my fave channel on Pandora and wind down with Native American Flute Music by R. Carlos Nakai .  Sometimes a milestone is reached and no matter what I try she won't nap. With the lack of sleep babies can be prone to having Night Terrors.
If you have ever seen one, it is awful... they are not fully awake , screaming and arching their back they look like Linda Blair and you expect their heads to spin around and pea soup to projectile out of their mouths at any moment. No matter what you do it is hard to comfort them and you have to wait it out, this had happened and my I figured out what was up when she wouldn't respond to being held and bit me when I tried to nurse her, she was ravenously hungry and I picked her up to take her with me to the kitchen where I could find something a little more solid for her and let my husband know.

She had gone through this a few times before, usually around cutting a new tooth or a growth spurt. It would be scary for a little bit, but I also figured she needed a little snack before bedtime so that she had enough to carry her through the night. It would be something as simple as hunger, going to bed early then usual sometimes did it too. There was just something different about this night and I started to get scared. I called out to my hubby D to see if he could bring something back for her. He didn't respond so I figured he was on the back porch taking out the trash or in other bathroom.

The walk to the kitchen started to do the trick and she was calming down. I got a squeeze tube of food and sure enough , she was hungry, I thought maybe her stomach had woken her up. As she finished her snack and we started to walk back toward the bedroom she started to get upset again and then I saw something that was about 3 feet tall in a dark brown muslin robe walk into my bedroom. I blinked a couple times and thought it was my imagination , after all she woke me from a pretty deep sleep and it was a pretty mellow friendly dream.Nothing scary at all. Though my heart jumped I figured I was "seeing things". I kept hearing "grunty, grunty, grunty" in my head.

We walked into the bedroom and it started up again, the screaming , the arching back, but she was awake! I sat us on the bed and saw what I thought was this short dark figure dart into my bathroom, and noticed she was in fear and was reacting to what I thought was my tired eyes and imagination. She was trying to scoot as far away from that bathroom and whatever it was we saw there. Seconds later my husbands walks into the room and startles me and suddenly I start hysterically crying, both the baby and I doing that heaving sort of cry that either makes you hyperventilate or get the hiccups. He asked what is the matter and I said when I could catch my breath " I think saw something come into the room and could you burn some sage?"  Which he quickly did. It seemed to calm us down to where we were all able to lay back down to sleep , well all but me, I started to go over prayers in my head. As she started to calm down and my husbands started nod off into sleep , I was finally able to catch a little myself.

The next morning my daughter was bright and awake and not scared like she was the night before. I couldn't get it out of my head and while she was eating her morning cup of O shaped cereal I decided to check my messages and see if any of my friend were awake. I had just called my friend Tsering and her boyfriend said she was still asleep, knowing sleep is hard to come by decided to distract myself with facebook. On the thread a friend had posted this picture and sans the beak it looked like a dead ringer for my late night visitor! How odd was that? Perhaps it was a Bodach? But those old Scottish boogeymen only come after bad children and this was something a little more solid then a shadow. Maybe a Bendith (a Welsh elemental) coming to swap my child for one of it's own?

                                                                              © Johann Valentin Andree




Whatever it was it was not good and I went to my friends for help. I was actually surprised at my amount of fear,honestly. I had seen spirit possession, I have heard people , in front of me speak a foreign language that they did not know, and various other amazing occurrences, all while keeping my cool. Not to mention all of my night terrors as a child. But when it is your own child,  it is hard to keep your cool.

My friend called me back as soon as she awoke and I recounted my story from the night before. She knows my history and knows that I am not easily scared, like soldiers from a battle a good case of PTSD does that to you , saving the reactions till it is safe (if it ever is) and processing them later. In this case I was scared immediately and appreciated that she could go over this situation with me much like we do for the folks we help.

She mentioned different types of beings from different cultures that are attracted to kids and proceed to send me a couple amulets of the Red Tara that I could pin up in our sleeping room to combat this thing. I dutifully printed them out and was able to pin them to the wall above our bed. the image of the Red Tara gave me comfort in this form , she was sure to scare the heck out of any boogeymen!
                                      This is the image of the Red Tara in her protector form.
The amulet which was folded and placed behind the picture.
Her Mantra written in the hand of my friend's teacher: Garchen Rinpoche 


That evening the other Co-Admin did a practice for me to protect my family. That evening as we went to lay down, my room felt calm and Baby and Pa were able to fall asleep fairly quickly. I however kept my eye on the corner of the room where I could spy our uninvited guest scrunched in the upper corner of the room as if in recoil. It had fed off our fear and I was fighting back. I closed my eyes and behind my lids a form began to take shape it was of the amulet pictured above. It started to rotate and spin and I though I heard a human humming noise which I discerned  as a Mantra being intoned. This was sometime around 1 am. I feel asleep, feeling better.


Coming soon! Part 2:

Mr. "Grunty" visits my friends...what about my own protectors from the Lucumi faith? ...A gift for Mr. Grunty and what he taught me.

I did this in two parts to keep the length down and to be able to give our reader's something to read while I finish part 2 as it unfolds...